| On Tuesday of this week 52-year-old Melvina “Mary” Kelly of Saddlers Village in St Kitts was formally arrested and charged for the murder of her 8-year-old granddaughter Belisha Edwards. This unusual crime has made regional and possibly international headlines. This is a new level for us. The facts surrounding the homicide have not yet all come to light at the writing of this editorial. However, short of absolute insanity, there can be no rationalization for this act. We have a history of domestic violence in the Caribbean and the federation is no exception.
While this incident is somewhat outside the pale it is a form of domestic violence and symptomatic of an undercurrent of violence that is extant in our society at all levels. We, as a people, need to come to grips with the realization we can no longer look the other way when abusiveness occurs; that the crime that we see today on the streets may be related to the abuse seen at home; that one voice may not be able to accomplish much, but together with one thunderous voice we can work together to be safe, make a change and have our children grow up in a healthy, safe environment.
Citizens, we need to work hand in hand to break this cycle and come up with a plan to educate the youth that beatings and forced sex is not love or compassion. That a man must love a woman because he beats instead of leaving her is not what marriage or relationships are about. Often victims believe, and have been told by the abusive partner, that the abuse is their fault. Abuse can never be the fault of the victim and the victim’s making a change in behavior makes no change to the situation. But behavioral change can be made for self-protection. Even if one is not ready to leave the partner, or even if the violence hasn’t shown its head, a safety plan should be considered.
You can’t control your partner’s abusive behavior, but you can take steps to protect yourself from harm. Whether you decide to stay or end the relationship, you should consider creating a safety plan. A safety plan is a personalized and practical plan for reducing your risk of being hurt by your partner. It can help you avoid dangerous situations and know the best way to react when you are in danger.
Sometimes, the best way to keep yourself safe is to call the police. This is especially true if you feel like you are in immediate danger, if you have been injured, or your restraining or protective order has been violated. While you may be hesitant or afraid to call the police, they may be able to give you help and protection when you need it the most.
When the police arrive, get the officers’ names. Ask the police to take pictures of your injuries and interview any witnesses. Insist that a report be filed and get the report number. If they refuse to take a report, go to your local police department and file one yourself that day or the next business day. On the next business day, call the police department to get the name and phone number of the detective or investigator assigned to your case. Call that person to get more information about your case.
If all who are involved take such steps, the Police will get the message and the abuser will also begin to get the message that this is serious and that the people of the Federation will not stand for this any longer. How many have to die or become injured before we wake up and acknowledge that a serious problem exists?
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