Reprinted from a previous issue
The telephone rang.
“Hello, Archibald, may I help you?”
The caller cleared his throat and paused.
“Hello Washie, this is Dougie.”
“Who?”
“Douglas, Prime Minister Douglas.”
“Oh,” I said in surprise, wondering what was the reason for this call. It isn’t like we are friends, the prime minister and I. What I mean to say, we ain’t enemies either but we are not buddies.
If I want to see him I make an appointment and find my way to his office, and sit for about an hour till he could see me. And if he wants me he would let one of his messengers call me and tell me when I could come to his office. And then I would visit his office and sit and wait.
So this call directly from the prime minister really surprised me. And when he introduced himself as Dougie, well that was a big surprise. I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming.
“Hey, Washie,” he paused a little again.
“Just a second,” he said. It seemed that he was distracted by someone in his inner office. That was what I imagined, because I couldn’t imagine him making this call outside where all his secretaries were, because whatever the call was about, it had to be a delicate matter. That was why he had to pause so often.
“You there?” He came back.
“Yes, I’m here.”
“Well, what I called you for is to offer you the post of Governor General as from the first of January 2005.”
“Me?” I replied, laughing out loudly.
It took a couple of seconds to catch myself to ask: “Well, what happen to Cutty?”
The situation was so strange that I felt like calling the Governor General by his pet name.
“You mean Sir Cuthbert? Well he is retiring. He is going on pre-retirement leave and the office will be vacant. You will take the job, right?”
“Oh, ahm, yes, Sir Cuthbert, what happen, he done with it or you done with him?”
“Well, you know, he is getting old now and has decided it is time to retire.”
“I old too.”
“But not quite as old as His Excellency.”
I was really struck at how, although he was trying to converse casually with me, when he referred to the governor-general he was very respectful.
He didn’t have to tell me that I was younger than Sir Cuthbert. I have known Dr. Sebastian a long time. I think before I was ten. He used to have a little car which the boys at the Traffic referred to as a match box car. He used to drive it fast. Well it seemed then that the speed was fast.
I got to see him a bit closer when I was about 10 years of age and my mother sent me to spend my afternoons with William who lived with his mother and brother Henry, as part of the Sebastians’ extended family.
The Sebastian family was large, There were many good looking daughters. Some were grown women, a couple were big girls still going to school. I knew one of them well. She was my second standard teacher at the Basseterre Boys’ School.
I liked her. She was pretty and she was nice and gentle. Throughout my early years at the Basseterre Boys’ she was the teacher I like the most. Next to her was Ismay Burt, my first standard teacher. She was nice too.
Another member of the Sebastian extended family was Boy-Boy. Boy-Boy was a tallish man with long legs. He used to wear his pants above his waist. He stepped to the full limit of his legs and this gave him a curious posture while he walked.
He passed through the Traffic everyday.
Henry and I went to school together but Willie had left before I went. Henry played all the sports in school and when he became a policeman he was a top police athlete. He retired from the Antigua Police Force as Deputy Commissioner.
Willie liked to teach like the Sebastian sisters who were nearly all teachers; but since he did not get his Standard Seven certificate, he decided to become a teacher in the afternoons and in the school vacations. He held the classes in a shed at the far end of the yard.
My mother sent me to Teacher Willie’s school. I had gone from third to Fourth Standard and one day I had trouble with Avoirdupois Weights and Measures. After a few volleys of blows from Mr. Beach he marched me back to Third Standard. My mother decided I needed help, so she sent me to Teacher Willie.
Willie taught me fractions and letter writing so during my second year in Third Standard I was bright. I was only 10.
Some time in the year Willie had examinations and he asked then dispenser Cuthbert Sebastian to be the Inspector of Schools to test his pupils to see how well he had taught them. He tested us individually for there were not many of us.
My test was in reading. I can’t remember what I read but I remember reciting The Burial of Sir John Moore from beginning to end. And I think I must have done some thing in fractions. The Inspector did the promotions, which followed the exam. He skipped me from Third to Fifth.
When promotion time came at the Basseterre Boys’, Charles Mills skipped almost the whole class from Third to Fifth. He sent me to Fourth, but seemed to have had a change of heart after Miss Burt, now the Fifth Standard teacher spoke to him. He signaled me to accompany the other boys to the Fifth.
“So what you say?” The PM woke me from my reverie.
“Wha bout Lawrence, he ain want the job? It always look to me like he preparing for it.”
The Prime Minister did not answer, he just insisted that I come to the swearing in.
I had other questions, but he was not inclined to listen.
“Man, Washie, don’t worry about anything. Just come to the swearing in, right?”
I said, “Right.”
I couldn’t understand how I was letting the Prime Minister talk me into this. It must have been because I was broke and this big job would give me a safe income.
So my broke days will end. No more bailiff and no more letters from Wilkin and Ferdinand threatening to send me to jail for money I owe to Cable and Wireless.
It must have been the broke factor, for Old Year’s Day I found myself at Government House in the presence of a large crowd of people, all big shots.
All the ministers of government were there. The married ones had their wives with them. My friend Vance Amory was there; he shook my hand and offered congratulations. I smiled and grunted under my breath.
“Nutten happen yet.”
Then the judge stepped forward with a Bible in his hand. He was fully robed and I was fascinated by the dignity of his bearing in his robes.
Before I could take my eyes off the judge’s colourful roles I heard him say: “Mr. Archibald, please come forward and take the oath.”
“Oath, what oath?”
“The Oath of Allegiance to her Majesty the Queen”.
The audience leaned on their seats to hear the exchange. Vance was smiling.
“I don’t take no oath. I don’t swear.”
The judge was visibly confused. He turned around to the Prime Minister and the two of them whispered to one another. He then came to me and whispered. I agreed to read the oath to myself to see what it said.
“I, George Washington Archibald do solemnly swear to bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, her heirs and successors according to law, so help me God.”
“Not me. I ain reading this. I ain swearing nothing to no queen.”
And with that I burst some words on the Queen.
The wives put their hands to their mouths. One of them fixed her face in a comical style. Vance bent over. He swelled, trying to stifle his laughter. I could not help laughing out loudly, myself.
Then Vance exploded.
I laughed out more loudly. The place fell into confusion.
Then somebody touched me. It was my daughter Heather.
“Daddy,” she said “You were laughing in your sleep. That must have been some joke.”
