By Dianne Collins

Our mind, body and spirit are deeply connected, how we think, feel has an effect on our bodily system. Emotions, feelings, thoughts are part of the human experience, but toxic emotions such as hate, anger, jealousy, envy, revenge do not serve us well.

How we learn about emotions

Our first teachers are our parents and other family members. When we are small children we observe how our parents and other family members react and deal with emotions. Familial habits have been passed down subconsciously from one generation to another. We also learn from the wider world, friends and the media.

Toxic feelings if left unchecked can weaken our immune system and possibly lead to the development of illnesses. We often react the same way based on past behaviours and past experiences. How we behaved in the past guides us in our present behaviours, in other words we are living in the past. We should not deny our emotions, feel them, if we don’t our body reacts, by way of muscle tension for example. But as we experience life, we realise that our coping skills might need to change. Give yourself the freedom to change your habits and the way you think. Be your authentic self, not a version you are expected to be as dictated by others.

Living by our emotions – the old paradigm

People are often enslaved by their emotions, reacting the same way based on past behaviours and experiences, just acting on autopilot. Many of us are living emotionally in the past, for instance we hold on to old hurts, resentments and grudges. These emotional behaviours eat away at the core of our being, drain us. Most of these past issues are never resolved, as false pride and egos get in the way. When something happens to us in the present, it brings back memories of past issues and we again react in the same way as in the past.

Living by our emotions – the new paradigm

Choose to react constructively rather than relinquishing your command, we are ultimately accountable for our feelings, mastering ourselves is key, the first step is awareness. Thoughts are things. Focus on your thoughts in the morning, what do we want our day to be. If you are being in a negative frame of mind that is how your day is going to evolve. The Universe gives you want you ask for. What you think is what you become. As the saying goes you are what you think.

When dealing with grudges, resentments, try to resolve these past issues if possible, if that is not an option, make peace with the past and move on. We cannot change what has happened in the past. I had a grudge against someone for over forty years, but I realised it was just plain silly to carry this grudge and I got rid of it. Have compassion and forgiveness for yourself and others. Life has its ups and downs, and how we react to the vicissitudes of life, is key. We have lessons to learn from what happens to us.

In this school of life we sometimes feel like our life is falling apart, i.e. divorce, job loss, losing one’s home, circumstances like these challenge us, shakes up our life, it is a sign from the Universe to change ourselves, the old ways are not working. It feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but I have been through these experiences and found the light at the end of the tunnel. When we navigate through these situations and learn the lessons, we come out as a better, stronger person. Our goal in life is to evolve spiritually and by examining how we think and feel, helps us to become the best person we can be. Feel your emotions, don’t go on an emotional roller coaster, live in alignment with your higher self, rather than become a slave to our lower self, the ego.