Dear Editor: Recently, I had the opportunity to view a movie entitled “Provoked. ” This movie was based on the true story of a young woman from India.” Her Indian husband physically and psychologically abused her.” Obviously, this man had neither regard nor respect for the intelligence, independence, sexuality, and innovative ideas women possess. “I was moved to write this article because of the character in the story.” It made me reflect on the society in which I was born and the constant abuse of women I witnessed as a child within my own home and beyond.” It was a time when women were paralyzed by their apprehension of being self-reliant.”” They felt that they could not survive without the financial support of a man.” I have often asked myself was this an idea that they developed on their own or was it something that was perpetuated through society for many years. (It was probably the TRUTH!)” At that time many young women who did not succeed academically were willing to accept that it was a man’s world, and that whatever a man said or did, there was no recourse for his action. For example, these abused women were willing to endure many of the mental and physical scars they suffered by the hands or feet of those insecure and ignorant men.” They allowed such actions to continue for years even though their lives were almost unbearable. Sometimes when their mother or friends would see the bruises or scars on their bodies and ask, “What caused such marks on your body?””” The women would answer with the defensive answers that we have heard abused women use:” “I slipped and fell, and hit my face on the edge of the bed.”” “I lost my footing coming down the stairs and broke my hand.”” Even their children might be blamed, saying that toys were left around the house, which caused their fall.” This was done primarily to protect their vicious, inconsiderate, violent and cowardly husband or companion, whose only method of dealing with frustration, hostility, and insecurities was to beat their female partners. By extension, these men would further compound the pain of those already battered women by verbally assassinating their character and integrity. Let me share one of my dark memories with you from when I was a child.” I call it dark because it is very painful to recall the episode.” One night on my way home I saw a man throw a woman into the air and then walk off.” He left her for the force of gravity to cast her down.” The impact of her fall sent shockwaves through me, and I wondered if she would survive.” Amazingly, I saw that lady get up in fright and flee for her life.” A few days later I saw the same woman embracing this belligerent man as they walked across McKnight.” What could I say or do?” I was only a child, without power or recourse. Such incidents still occur.”” There are still men who are selfish, controlling, and egotistical.” These men still use using physical force and intimidation to harass and sexually coerce women to succumb to their demands.” Some men even humiliate their wives and children by living excessively promiscuous lifestyles without regard to consequence or repercussion. “As you read this article, somewhere a father or mother is laying their daughter rest, because she was brutally murdered by the man she once trusted and loved. There are countless women being treated by caring and empathetic doctors for broken bones and bruises because her male partner exercised his physical force on her. This alarming reality takes place every minute on the hour and goes unreported by many.” Many of these women want to exercise their courage, but because of fear for their own lives and the lives of their children, they endure their suffering.” They hope to gain the courage to escape form the physical mental and psychological torture they have suffered for years. “We must continue to highlight the suffering and trauma of women who continue to endure abuse behind closed doors.” The women fear the shame and humiliation of revealing that their marriage or relationship is a nightmare experience. Reading the statistics regarding battered women reveals the serious nature of this issue.” Statistics below reveal how grave this problem is from an international perspective. lIn Papua, New Guinea, 67% of rural women and 56% of urban women have been victims of abuse, according to a national survey conducted by the Papua New Guinea Law Reform Commission. lIn India, there have been 1,259 dowry-related murders in the last 3 years, according to official government statistics. This estimate is widely regarded as low. lIn Bangladesh, assassination of women by their husbands accounts for 50% of all murders. lIn a random sample of Norwegian gynecological patients, 25% of women who had ever lived in a relationship had been physically and/or sexually abused by their partner. “_. A 1990 study of 1,000 women in Sacatepequez, Guatemala, found that 49% of women have been physically, sexually or emotionally abused, 75% by an intimate male partner. “_. A statistical survey conducted in Netzahualcoyotl, a city adjacent to Mexico City, found that one in 3 women had been victims of family violence; 20% report blows to the stomach during pregnancy. “_. According to the former Surgeon General Koop, 3-4 million women in the US are beaten by their partners each year. Studies on prevalence suggest that from 1/5 to 1/3 of all women will be physically assaulted by a partner or ex-partner during their lifetime. “_. Battering is the single greatest cause of injury among women in the US, accounting for more emergency room visits than auto accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. ” Women, go watch the movie “Provoked” and find the courage to seek freedom from abuse. I am not suggesting that you use the means she used to extricate herself from such dreadful behavior. However, I am advocating that you seek the enjoyment she sought for. For, to many time such maltreatment, impede the development of talented women who have so much to offer, their children and society. ” Sharing your story will help to bring greater awareness to this continued problem that affect every society. Who knows, you might save the life of the woman next door, whose only hope of living a normal life, lied in the power of your words. I know this for sure, for my mother was a victim of brutal physical abuse. At the time of her vicious circumstances, her escape was to abandon everything she cared for, in order find the solace she so desperately sought. ” “Let us suppose she had the facilities that we now have for battered women, her decision might have been a different one.” I urge you to utilize to your advantage the expertise of those who are in a position to aid you through this traumatic and difficult period of your life.” Let me emphasize that no woman should ever have to suffer any violent encounter from her husband or partner.” Those who do not restrain their anger and do not have the intellectual capacity to act responsible in moments of stress and conflict are the ones who must desist from entering into any relationship that would cause them to behave recklessly towards their female partner. ” You have the power and knowledge as women available to you to train your sons to recognize that it is dignified to treat women with respect in moments of disagreements and misunderstanding.” It is our responsibility to try to eradicate this senseless behavior from our community.” The lasting psychological, emotional and mental effects can destroy the hopes and aspiration of women for generations.” Rapid change can begin to be realized if husbands treat their wives with uttermost respect in front of their children. With the combination of parents nurturing their sons and daughters to practice self-respect and tolerance for others, an important step in this cause will have been made. Go watch the movie and fine the courage she found to seek her freedom. I”m not suggesting that you use the means she uses to extricate herself from such dreadful behavior. However, I”m advocating, that you seek for enjoy she sought for, that once can only experience when they are free to make their ow
n choices and decision without, suppression and violent.””” When is a storm coming you are told evacuate especially when you are living in low land avoid injury and death. If storm destroy your house, your natural response is move on and start over a flesh. Rebuilding in the same place after the storm will be a constant reminder of lost you has suffered there. Why continue in live in such uncertainty, knowing at any time the storm can rage again. It is time move on and=2 0begins building somewhere else. ” Paul D. Woods
