Continued from last week
Furthermore, the earlier you open the lines of communication, the better chance you have of keeping them open through the teen years. Give your child books on puberty written for kids going through it. Share memories of your own adolescence. There’s nothing like knowing that Mom or Dad went through it, too, to put a child more at ease. Put Yourself in Your Child’s Place Practice empathy by helping your child understand that it’s normal to be a bit concerned or self-conscious, and that it’s OK to feel grown-up one minute and like a kid the next. Pick Your Battles If teenagers want to dye their hair, paint their fingernails black, or wear funky clothes, think twice before you object. Teens want to shock their parents and it’s a lot better to let them do something temporary and harmless; leave the objections to things that really matter, like tobacco, drugs and alcohol. Maintain Your Expectations Teens will likely act unhappy with expectations their parents place on them. However, they usually understand and need to know that their parents care enough about them to expect certain things such as good grades, acceptable behavior, and adherence to the rules of the house. If parents have appropriate expectations, teens will likely try to meet them. Inform Your Teen ” and Stay Informed Yourself The teen years often are a time of experimentation, and sometimes that experimentation includes risky behaviors. Don’t avoid the subjects of sex, or drug, alcohol, and tobacco use; discussing these things openly with kids before they’re exposed to them increases the chance that they’ll act responsibly when the time comes. Know your child’s friends ” and know their friends’ parents. Regular communication between parents can go a long way toward creating a safe environment for all teens in a peer group. Parents can help each other keep track of the kids’ activities without making the kids feel that they’re being watched. Know the Warning Signs A certain amount of change may be normal during the teen years, but too drastic or long-lasting a switch in personality or behavior may signal real trouble ” the kind that needs professional help. Watch for one or more of these warning signs:
“extreme weight gain or loss”
“sleep problems”
“rapid, drastic changes in personality”
“sudden change in friends”
“skipping school continually”
“falling grades”
“talk or even jokes about suicide”
“signs of tobacco, alcohol, or drug use”
“run-ins with the law Any other inappropriate behavior that lasts for more than 6 weeks can be a sign of underlying trouble, too. You may expect a glitch or two in your teen’s behavior or grades during this time, but your A/B student shouldn’t suddenly be failing, and your normally outgoing kid shouldn’t suddenly become constantly withdrawn. Your doctor or a local counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist can help you find proper counseling. Respect Kids’ Privacy Some parents, understandably, have a very hard time with this one. They may feel that anything their kids do is their business. But to help your teen become a young adult, you’ll need to grant some privacy. If you notice warning signs of trouble, then you can invade your child’s privacy until you get to the heart of the problem. But otherwise, it’s a good idea to back off.
