Continued from last week
Based upon appearance, one may be attracted to someone across a room but a relationship founded on this alone is wrong, and will never work.
One simply cannot fall in love at first sight, although one can grow over time to deeply love a person. This develops out of mutual admiration and respect for one another, and involves, as we will learn, much thought and careful analysis.
Do Not Be Deceived!
I have counseled teenage couples who sincerely believed that they were “in love.” While perhaps only 18 or 19, they were convinced that they would someday marry each other. Guided by their human reasoning, these teens sought to validate their feelings in what were inappropriate relationships. Even after hearing real love explained, they continued deceiving themselves into believing they were “sharing” and “giving”—that they were practicing unselfishness—true love. They “knew” they loved each other, and only wished others would understand.
Teens are generally incapable of analyzing their motives in a relationship, either until it has failed, a pregnancy or disease has resulted, or virginity has been lost and disillusionment has entered—in other words, when it is too late! For some, even these are not enough to jolt them to reality.
Human nature could be described as an onion with a rotten core. Each layer of skin is a different motive, and while the upper layer seems fine (in this case, supposed “true love”), one must be willing to shed each layer in order to see what is at the core. Any two teenagers who sincerely think they are in love must analyze the motive behind the motive, and honestly acknowledge the basis of their relationship—infatuation driven by lust!
Notice what the Creator God states about your feelings—and your heart: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jer. 17:9). And recall again an earlier reference, “There is a way which seems right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death” (Prov. 14:12).
If you are a teen and feel—“know!”—that you are in love, beware! Notice: “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkens [listens] unto counsel is wise” (Prov. 12:15). Take time to periodically reread these three passages, and remind yourself to honestly face the facts and to hear wise counsel!
Vast numbers of teenagers go down the path of sincerely believing they are in love. Deceiving themselves, they are actually ruining their lives and the lives of others! Fornication, terrible diseases, unwanted children, shamed and disappointed families, financial hardship, disillusionment, psychological problems (sometimes even leading to suicide), lost education, lost innocence, lost friendships, lost happiness—and lost futures—are the painful results!
Make no mistake! These things do not just apply to teenagers! Laws are laws—they play no favorites. They apply to every person who violates—breaks—God’s eternal spiritual Law, which, if kept, is capable of preventing every human ill. Breaking them brings a host of effects that WILL “break” all who ignore this supreme cause.
A simple principle applies here: “Wherefore let him that thinks he stands take heed [beware] lest he fall” (I Cor. 10:12). This can—and should—be applied to every aspect of life. Are you certain you are walking the right direction in your dating relationships? What dangers might you be overlooking—or ignoring? Will you set the right priorities, demonstrate character and do the right thing?
Your entire future could depend on it!
Conversion Comes First
The single greatest goal of every person is to be born into the coming kingdom of God, to share rulership with Christ at His Return. All other goals, including pursuing and achieving a happy marriage, are of lesser importance. This means that receiving the Spirit of God, which begins the path of conversion, is one’s single highest priority after reaching adulthood.
However, while serious dating should wait, there is a certain type of dating that can be done before one is converted. (The difference between these two stages will be explained later in greater detail.)
