Continued from last week
First, one should never date one-on-one or advance to the more serious stage of courting until after conversion—which begins with repentance, baptism and the receiving of God’s Spirit!
Why should baptismal status matter? Grasp this crucial fact. Husbands and wives are to express the love of God (agape) to each other and, for this to be possible, God must be working within a marriage. This can only occur if His Spirit is present in the partners. Again recall Romans 5:5, in addition to Galatians 5:22, which explains that love is a “fruit” of the Holy Spirit.
Let’s make clear when one receives the Holy Spirit. Notice Acts 2:38: “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” You must repent—which is turning from disobedience to God’s Law—and be baptized before you can receive God’s Spirit. Without it, you are utterly incapable of loving a mate in the way God designed.
Some will ask, “What does conversion have to do with dating or courting?”, adding, “I have no intention of getting married at this point.” However, if you are becoming serious or courting someone before conversion, you are already—albeit unconsciously—building a foundation of physical attraction, physical “love.”
Think of the above in the following way: Failing to see the importance of receiving God’s Spirit before serious dating (not speaking of marriage yet) equates to telling God that you do not need His guidance in selecting your mate—that you only need His help in blessing a marriage after the fact—after you decided who would be best as your lifelong partner! Ultimately, you have formed a relationship without seeking God’s guidance as to whether there was hope for success.
Would you make a big business decision—certainly not as important as marriage—without first determining your chances of success?
Some marriages should never take place, regardless of how the couple feels and whether they are converted. All those who select a mate without God’s direction are “rolling the dice,” with no assurance whatsoever that the relationship can work long-term.
Many readers may have already made the mistake of marrying the wrong person, sometimes more than just one. In almost every case, lack of maturity was involved with one or both spouses in the previous marriage.
No matter how “mature” one may be (and mature teenagers would be the last to ignore sound advice), it should now be clear that anyone of teen age cannot possibly develop true, godly love. This does not mean you cannot date, but that you must adjust your definition of dating. always keep it general. Teenagers should NEVER allow themselves to get serious in a one-on-one relationship.
An unconverted mind can practice the principle of “it is more blessed to give than receive” (Acts 20:35), to a certain degree, but, lacking God’s Spirit, a carnal mind that is also immature cannot even begin to face and overcome the trials and challenges of marriage.
Parents of Teens
If you are a parent of teenagers, you should be careful not to force your children to date only those of your choosing. If you do, you will drive them the opposite way.
God Himself is a parent and, like every parent, He wants the very best for His children. However, He recognizes that He made human beings as free moral agents, able to make mistakes, but also able to learn from them. And while experience is a very good teacher, it is far better (and less painful) to learn from instruction and from the examples of others.
Parents are responsible for teaching their children God’s Way. As your children grow older, gradually give them more responsibility. Under your overall guidance, this will help them learn to make right decisions. During the late teens, a teenager should be making some of his own decisions. But there may be times when you need to intervene. If your teenager wants to spend time with the wrong companions, disregard all protests—step in and stop the contact! As parents, you are often the only ones truly guiding your teenager. Be willing to take the time to actively teach them God’s principles and truths—and to intervene when necessary to protect them from themselves.
Be assured that if you do not teach your teenagers, someone else will—and it will probably not be what you want them to learn!
