Continued from last week
This “fashion” trend has been established almost entirely by rock stars and big-city youth street gangs, who try to maximize a kind of “shock factor” appearance, which is designed to draw attention to themselves. Many strive to be known for how different they look—from anyone else on planet earth!
The hidden goal in such dress, yet it is discussed openly by the millions who practice it, centers around trying to stun others with styles that can only be described as outrageous, repulsive, even grotesque—seeing who can go the furthest and look the worst. Amazingly, many people actually think they look good at the end of the process!
Be careful who you are copying. While being a slave to fashion is never good, following modern trends is taking a bad practice and turning it into something worse—a foolish, degrading, time-consuming, expensive and usually sensual practice that results in an awful finished product!
On the other hand, while you should always try to look your best, it is wrong to approach your appearance with “I must look drop-dead-gorgeous” or “Hollywood handsome,” done also to get maximum attention. This represents the other ditch. Your perspective should be to present—give—the other person a neat, clean and well-kept appearance.
Also strive to be polite and respectful through both words and actions. Remember again. Everyone can improve in their manners. Learn more. It will bring a level of class to the date that will make it more enjoyable—and memorable!
Asking for a Date
There is a correct way to ask for a date—and a variety of ways not to do this.
For instance, if you are organizing a group date—and pre-planning is important—the opinion of others involved could be helpful. So often, teens want to do something together, but they gather and do nothing!—usually ending up just “hanging out.” At the very least, nothing is accomplished, and this generally leads to trouble, which often is all that is “accomplished.”
Be sure to plan something before you go out. Dating is a constructive, mentally stimulating and fun activity when done properly—loitering around late-night convenience stores, malls, diners or in parking lots does not equate with beneficial group dating!
If you have progressed to one-on-one dating, how should you ask for a date? First, the man should initiate the request. Be organized and purposeful—it should not happen by chance or be driven by convenience only.
The first few times a man asks for a date may involve some anxiety. But view it as an opportunity to grow in courage and leadership (characteristics sorely lacking in men today).
The Role of Religious Belief
The question of religious belief, and/or affiliation, plays an enormous role in determining whom you should date. In fact, it is the very starting point of whom you should even consider dating.
The general principle for those in God’s Church is to not spend a lot of time with those in “the world” (Jms. 4:4). Further, Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together except they be agreed?” The answer is a resounding “No!” God states plainly, “Be you not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (II Cor. 6:14). This passage offers no exceptions to the rule.
Christians must avoid every circumstance that involves extensive fellowship with those of different beliefs. This includes business partnerships, clubs and organizations involving fellowship agreements—and, obviously, this instruction is inseparable from the very personal activity of dating and courtship, which could, and generally will, quite literally, lead to being “yoked together”—married!—to an “unbeliever.” Actually, one who has God’s Spirit—who has been baptized and converted—is prohibited from even dating one who does not. (Also note Romans 8:9 and 14.)
Those who are young, and beginning to group date, could, on rare occasion and under very special circumstances, go out with a group of wholesome, decent friends when it involves a school activity.
Let me repeat a previous point for emphasis to explain why you should be very careful here. There was once a time when people spoke of those who “got in with the wrong crowd.” There has always been a certain “wrong crowd” in every school, and in every society and every age. But things have radically changed, and not for the better. Again, today, the wrong crowd has generally become the only crowd. Clean, wholesome friends are very few and far between. If you have even one true friend, you are rare.
