Continued from last week
A truly feminine woman knows why she was created. She understands the role she was intended to fulfill in marriage—as the man’s support and “helpmeet” (Gen. 2:18). Doing this helps her to be happiest.
A feminine woman recognizes her responsibilities of submission and service. God designed wives to be most comfortable when submissive to their husbands and when responsive to their needs—and to feel fulfilled when they are doing this. They know to disregard that society puts them down, or even lampoons them, as “old-fashioned” or “out of step,” recognizing that society is out of step with God—and miserable as a result!
If you are studying how to properly date, you are not yet married. Be sure to think ahead—into the future—and try to practice this essential way of thinking now. Make it a habit to give, help and serve wherever you are able.
A feminine woman of virtue is also resourceful and diligent in what she does. Ignore the popular image of the “feminine” woman as a helpless woman. This is far from true! She understands finances, strives to be imaginative and inventive, and works hard at whatever endeavor she undertakes.
Another important aspect of femininity, almost completely lost to girls and young women today, is modesty. Are you modest? Are you aware of your posture and stance—the look in your eyes and the tone of your voice? Do you wear provocative clothing that does not cover as much as it should, while also knowing that it is intended to be suggestive and sexually arousing? Or do you dress elegantly and modestly, with dignity? A woman should be naturally concerned about her appearance, yet never in a way that is vain (Prov. 31:30).
Women: Keep your trust firmly in God. Because the man takes the lead in asking for dates, the woman must recognize that it takes real, enduring faith to believe a godly man will be sent to her. The wise woman knows that “taking matters into her own hands” would ultimately backfire. She patiently waits for God to intervene on her behalf.
Are you kind, patient, cultured? Do you have an attractive personality that you are constantly striving to build—to polish? Are you continually happy and joyful, and, if not, are you striving to be?
What is your overall goal? Do you wish to be the best wife possible when the time comes for marriage? Apply these principles of femininity. Take the time to read, study and possibly write out Proverbs 31—the “virtuous woman” chapter. Most of all, enjoy the fact that you are a woman—and that one day a special man will appreciate you for it!
What About Remarriage?
Some special instruction is important here. This may be your second time around looking for a mate. If so, all the principles in this book are still relevant, although many may need slight modification for obvious reasons, and depending upon the uniqueness of your circumstances. But, whether you are age 25 or 50, all are still applicable.
People hoping to remarry can bring a host of issues to potential new relationships. They must address whether only one or both interested parties have been married before. If only the man has been married before, this is one kind of circumstance. If only the woman has been, this is another. Be certain to discuss your previous marriage with your prospective mate. While you do not need to go into highly specific or excruciating detail, the matter has to be one of open discussion between you, including all marriages that a couple may have experienced.
Since you have been married before, you must be willing to ask yourself what went wrong and what fault or faults may lie with you from your first experience. Where can you improve? Focus on weaknesses or shortcomings you may have.